I Want an Elephant for Christmas

The rest of the day turned out as well as could be expected, Kaiba thought baring the incident in the locker room with the usual riffraff. As he walked in the boys' locker room, the odor from the previous period's students still lingered in the air along with the usual loud, crass, and never-ending commentary that was often overheard in the room. This day however, the conversation held a different flavor, one of someone's total and complete humiliation.

"Damn it Honda, give'em back." Kaiba rounded the row of lockers and ran straight into one of the more interesting sights he had ever seen. Okay so maybe it wasn't very interesting, but then again how often did he get to see Jounouchi in his underwear? Oh, right, um everyday while they were dressing out. However, he had never seen him dressed quite so underdressed. The blond irritation was standing in the middle of the floor wearing nothing but a red thong decorated in tiny reindeer. Gag gifts, like stupid underwear. Kaiba nodded, he had forgotten to add gag gifts, like stupid underwear, to his list of "I hate Christmas because" list; although, he suddenly thought better of the invention.

"Never pegged you to be the thong wearing kind Jounouchi,” Bakura said eyeing the underwear with a little more intensity than the blond duelist found acceptable. "So does the one in the middle's nose light up when you’re excited?" Kaiba decided he would have to change his opinion on the white haired kid, suddenly the image of shy and quiet did not settle with the attitude he was showing. He would have to watch that one.

Kaiba wondered briefly how long it would take for Jounouchi’s face to match the bright red shade of the aforementioned article of clothing as the blond appeared to darken further with each passing second. "Look you idiots; they were a present from my sister alright. Besides that, I ain't done laundry yet and nothing else was clean. You ever go commando in these uniforms? It itches like a bitch."

Oh hell. That was too much information as far as Kaiba was concerned, especially as his brain quickly realized that meant Jounouchi had gone commando at least once to school and was supplying several rather indecent images. He walked up grabbing Jounouchi's uniform shorts out of Honda's hand before anyone could say another word. Tossing them at the blond he remarked, "Red's not your color mutt," and then left, with them all standing there to wonder whether he meant the thong or the embarrassed flush across Jounouchi's face.

After that, everything went fine--until school ended. "Don't forget tomorrow is the class party. Any refreshments you bring will need to be taken to the teacher's lounge before school starts so we can see what someone needs to go out and purchase. Oh and Mister Kaiba?" She paused long enough for him to turn in irritation, "Your attendance is required, no skipping out this year. There are just enough students that everyone will receive a present with you included." She held out a small paper bag to him shaking it just so the paper slips inside rattled around. Just fucking great, that meant a trip to the mall to purchase something for the Secret Santa drawing, he thought. Rolling his eyes and huffing in great annoyance, Kaiba reached into the bag, pulled out a slip, and stomped toward the door leaving the classroom and everyone in it behind him. He didn't even look at the name until he was outside in the crisp winter air.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so fucked. Out of 30 students in the class, well 29 not counting himself, what were the odds of picking that name? Kaiba found himself standing there trying to figure out the math before he realized it really didn't matter. Fine, he'd get a gift. No problem. After all, he was an intelligent man. Therefore, he could do this. Anybody walking by Kaiba at that moment would have run off in fear at the manic gleam that danced in his eyes. He'd just come up with the perfect way to embarrass the gift receiver, the school and best of all that teacher; just maybe the perfect way to end the whole stupid gift giving tradition at school.

Later that night after Mokuba's pageant, in which Mokuba was the shining star of as Kaiba knew he would be, Kaiba slipped into his shower, eager to wash away the entire day. Christmas was a pain in the ass and, unfortunately, would be for far too many more days. Surrounded by the pounding stream of water, enveloped within the steamy curtain that filled the bathroom, he didn't hear the near silent footfalls of a still wide awake little elf.

Up way past his bedtime, Mokuba crept quietly into his brother's room. He had searched high and low, throughout the entire estate trying to find where Seto had hidden his presents--they were there, he knew it. No matter what his brother might think of Christmas and the holidays, Seto would never let him down. Every year there were a ton of toys and other goodies under the tree for him Christmas morning, and they weren't there from the staff either. There was only one room left for him to search and as he heard the water streaming in the shower he knew his brother would be in there for some time. His search found nothing under Seto's bed, not even a lost dust bunny, nothing behind the television cabinet nor in any of the drawers of the dresser chests. Opening the closet, Mokuba thought he’d hit pay dirt when, after moving aside three trench coats and numerous other articles of clothing, he found a large box with the words "Do NOT Open! Property of Seto Kaiba" all over it. Of course, he opened it. However, disappointment and confusion struck him at once. Why did his brother have little dolls all dressed up like Yugi and his friends? Why were there two Yugi dolls, although the one did look slightly bigger? Moreover, why did the bigger Yugi doll have pins sticking out of it in some very, if it were real, painful places? He quickly replaced the dolls covering them back up the way he found them, and left the room before his brother stepped out of the bathroom, completely unaware Mokuba had ever been there.







I want an elephant for Christmas
Just like the one down at the zoo.
A real live elephant for my very own
Oh what wonderful things he could do!

And if I can’t have an elephant for Christmas
I’ll take a hippopotamus instead
If not a hippopotamus
A rhinosausoruporus
If not a rhinosausporus
I'll take a little puppy dog instead
Named Sam
Wouldn't you like a puppy dog instead?
Woof!


(Note song lyrics incomplete due to the fact I can’t find them anywhere online! Damn it all. If anyone knows the lyrics I'd really appreciate a copy of them.)


 


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