You Must Cry Now Rating: Teen-13 I’m sorry. There’s nothing else I can say to you. I wish I could take it away from you, this hurt, this pain. I have no idea how this feels like for you, no way to express how it feels to me watching you go through this. I could tell you how my heart breaks to see you like this. Would you believe me? I can hear you’re reply, “What heart?” I have one, you know. Beating wildly in my chest every time you chance past me. I know I’ve never shown it, ignoring you for the most part in an attempt to hide--to protect you from me. You don’t need me or want me. You have your friends, but where are they now when you need them most? That’s right. You haven’t told them have you? They’ve noticed the distance you’ve place between you. Somehow you withstood the assault they threw at you, attempting to determine what was wrong. Someday, you must tell me how you did that, with Mutou’s pleading eyes, Mazaki’s questions and even with Honda, your best friend forever, needling you, you still withheld. I find myself impressed once again by (sorry I don’t mean it like it sounds) your doggedness, your determination not to have them involved in something like this. Does it surprise you to learn I want to hold you close, whispering into your ear that everything will be all right like a small child? I used to do the same for Mokuba at night when dreams would awaken him in terror, crying out from some unknown thief of his happiness. I’d bet that as a child you did the same for your sister, right? I wonder who did the same for you? Or, have you always been like this? Unable to share the pain behind the mask you wear with anyone? I find myself thinking often how much alike we are. What? We are you know. If our situations were reversed what do you think we would be like? Neither one truly happy in his life; living for others and not ourselves. What would happen to our darling siblings if we weren’t here for them? Your sister, Shizuka, is really such a strong girl to be so fragile. She’s very lucky to have a brother like you to protect her. Mokuba--my whole life is wrapped up in him. I don’t know what I’d do without him, or he without me, we anchor one another in this world. Everything we can’t be or didn’t have a chance to be they are, aren’t they? Did you really want to grow up on the streets fighting for everything that came your way? I sure as hell didn’t wish for this life, but embraced it whole-heartedly for Mokuba's sake. The cold hearted bastard and the stupid mutt, what a pair we are. We both know better don’t we? Life doesn’t make you; you take what you’re given and make the best of it. You’re not stupid; I’ve seen the proof of that. Okay, maybe I am a bastard, but it’s because I opt to be one. I’ve never been able to let another get close enough to make me change my mind. No one’s ever been able to make me doubt that of myself, until now. I watch you, trying to decide what it is you’re doing standing like that in the rain. It’s hard and cold, and you’re soaked completely. Are you trying to get sick, or maybe you wish the lightening would come? Do you dare the gods to strike you down? They never listen to such prayers; trust me. I’ve made many such like it, wishing it all away. I haven’t decided yet if it’s the prayers they don’t like or the prayee. I find myself moving toward you, wanting to comfort you, hidden in the wall of rain that falls upon us. You don’t see me approach until I’m near enough to touch the wet strands of hair that covers your eyes. Looking into them, I realize you’ve been standing there the whole time--angry, defiant, unwilling to release what’s held so close and hidden so deep that no one else would see it except one who understands. Funny, the only thing I can do is remember a poem I read once, long ago. Cry now, for no one is watching Cry now, while rain washes all away Tears may fall silent or not For trails swirl round with others. How things may hurt you, No one will know Pain in your heart pulls the hardest Cry now, while rain falls down. Stormy weather wages a battle Deep within the soul; Cry, while the heavens agree Seldom does it help out one so small. Sorrow burdens the soul, Breaking hearts even more Life goes on unwillingly No matter how much we long for the other world. You must cry now In moments such as these And if a tear should fall from my eye as well Would you notice? Would I care? It doesn’t matter now, for either of us. They were right; now is the time to break the seal holding back the truth. I take you in my arms and feel you fight at first. Still, you refuse to accept that I could be the one to know and help. You relax within my embrace and I whisper softly into your ear the words I’ve recalled. It’s safe now, in moments such as these. You must cry now. . . Author’s Note: Title comes from the translation of the kanji and hiragana upon the picture this is based. Image can be found here. Again, stupid poem copyrighted purkledragongoddess.